Expert fantasy football analysis. Minus the expert.
The Archives
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12.23.09You Know Who You Should Start (and Sit)?Mr. T has decided to get me back from making him write both Start ‘Em and Sit ‘Em columns last week by making me do the same for Week 16. Luckily, thanks to my team’s pathetic performance in the opening round of the playoffs last week, I now find myself with a lot more free time on my hands. Those of you lucky enough to not have been relying on Tom Brady and DeAngelo Williams last week and are now fighting for the championship, here’s for you. You know who you should start? Alex Smith (QB – SF) He had a terrible game ...
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12.10.09You Know Who You Should Start?We’re in the home stretch this fantasy season, and in almost all leagues this week marks either the final week of the regular season or the first round of the playoffs. Since every year it seems that it’s the unknowns who end up determining fantasy championships, this week’s column is full of options for the especially desperate owner who needs help from an unlikely source. Chris Redman (QB – ATL) So let’s start with Chris Redman, who if Matt Ryan is held out again this week, would get the start against the Saints. Say what you will about Redman’s performance in his ...
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12.03.09You Know Who You Should Sit?Joe Flacco (QB – BAL) After delivering 12 TD passes in the first 7 games of the season, Flacco has only thrown 1 in the past 4 weeks, as he continues to struggle playing on a bad ankle. Look for his struggles to continue this week against a Green Bay defense that allows less than 200 passing yards per game to opposing QBs. Continue Reading...
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11.27.09You Know Who You Should Start?Matt Hasselbeck (QB – SEA) With the number of sacks he's taken this year, Hasselbeck's been understandably jumpy. Those near him have taken note of this and know not to make any sudden movements when close by. But at Thanksgiving this year, tragedy struck when an unsuspecting relative moved too quickly when greeting Matt, causing Hasselbeck to mistake him for a 300 lb. defensive end and dive behind the table to avoid him, accidentally knocking over Grandma Hasselbeck's world-renowned cranberry sauce and ruining what might have otherwise been a lovely meal. Lucky for Matt, this weekend he faces the Rams and ...
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11.19.09You Know Who You Should Sit?Steve Slaton & Ryan Moats and Marshawn Lynch & Fred Jackson (RBs - HOU, BUF) All four of these running backs are in ambiguous timeshare situations coming into this week, and the uncertainty is upsetting more than just their fantasy owners. The stress of not knowing their roles every week has crossed over into other parts of their lives. Steve Slaton, benched for fumbling problems, has been too nervous about his butterfingers to pick up his own baby, and instead has had the more sure-handed Ryan Moats come over to rock the kid to sleep. However, last week Moats went out ...
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11.12.09You Know Who You Should Start?Julius Jones (RB – SEA) There's a lot of tasty running back match-ups this week to choose from. But you don't need me to tell you to start Adrian Peterson against the Lions or DeAngelo Williams against the Falcons. That's not what you come to the Slow Eater for. No, you come for me to get recommendations like Julius Jones, for whom the word "mediocre" seems too positive, against a Cardinals defense that is one of the best in league against the run. Here's the thought process. You can't take advantage of the Cardinals’ weak secondary unless you get some decent pass-rush ...
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11.05.09You Know Who You Should Sit?LaDainian Tomlinson (RB – SD) It pains me to write this, as I've long been a Tomlinson supporter, even recently as other people have abandoned ship. Perhaps it was the memories of all the good times we've had in the past, but I've been able to justify to myself continuing to trust him. Last season he was "disappointing" by many people's standards even though he still managed to put up very useful fantasy numbers. This year it's been worse. But I figured, due to the fact that he was guaranteed carries in a high-scoring offense, he had value, especially in a ...
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10.22.09You Know Who You Should Sit?Brett Favre (QB – MIN) Favre's deal with the Devil to regain the skill of youth can't last forever, right? I mean if there's one thing I've learned in my years of movie watching, it's that when you give up your immortal soul to the Prince of Darkness in exchange for him lowering you INTs per game from 1.375 a year ago to a ridiculous 0.333 this year, it doesn't last. Sooner or later, Beelzebub will return and take back what he gave to you. And it's then that you'll realize you've gotten much more than you bargained for. This week ...
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10.15.09You Know Who You Should Start?Marc Bulger and Donnie Avery (QB, WR – STL) For some inexplicable reason, no matter how many times I get burned, I just can't seem to quit Marc Bulger. Each year he seems to end up on one of my teams, with me talking myself into the idea that he’ll return to the fantasy relevance of his youth. Sure enough, this season I drafted him as my backup QB and was rewarded with a whopping -2 points the week I had to use him for an emergency start. But I'm going back to well again this week, and I'm pleading you ...
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10.08.09You Know Who You Should Sit?Roddy White (WR – ATL) Things used to be pretty great between Roddy White and QB Matt Ryan. As the only quality receiver in town, White was showered with his quarterback's affections, and everyone thought this was a relationship that would last forever. But then new prime target and known cougar Tony Gonzalez, with his soft hands and movie-star smile, joined the squad. Since then Ryan's attention has, let's say, wandered, and White hasn't reacted well. Apparently he hasn't been eating in an attempt to regain the speed of his younger days, which Ryan used to be such a fan of. ...
