Expert fantasy football analysis. Minus the expert.
Category
Lock of the Week
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12.18.09The Marble Ryan Lock of the WeekWeek 15 presents another tough-looking slate of games, and the only conclusion I can come to is that after a slow start, Vegas has gotten really good at this. Either that or I've just lost my mojo after another 1-1 performance last week. With nothing jumping out at me this week, I’ve turned to desperate measures. Having had success earlier in the year picking a game I wasn’t really all that passionate about, tirelessly dissecting every aspect of it until I reached a conclusion, I’ve decided to try out a similar methodology for Week 15. This time, I turned to an ...
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12.11.09The Marble Ryan Lock of the WeekMan, Tom Brady really sucks. I think it’s best to just spend as little time as possible on last week, with my Pats pick (and my prediction of a big game for Randy Moss) looking good early on, only to have the team fall apart in the end against what I consider to be a pretty mediocre Dolphins team. The one thing I can say is that it’s 100% Tom Brady’s fault, just like everything else that has gone wrong for me this football season. With the holidays approaching, I’m getting low on cash, and I need to start getting ...
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12.04.09The Marble Ryan Lock of the WeekReaders of the Lock of the Week are likely completely in the dark about my recent string of bad picks and glaring misstatements. The last you people heard from me, I was destroying bookmakers on a heroic 5 pick week like Albert Einstein on an 11th grade physics test. What you guys don't know is that even though I went radio silent over the Thanksgiving break, I was still quite active in the gambling circuit, albeit with disastrous results. Regarding the Thanksgiving slate of games, I told friends in private circles that I had concerns about the wide spreads given ...
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11.20.09The Marble Ryan Lock of the WeekFor a guy on a 4-0 streak, I’m very nervous. In Week 8, I decided to discard my “Go With The Gut” approach and dug into my Lock methodology with the intensity and seriousness of a brain surgeon working on a tumor lodged next to someone’s cerebellum. The results speak for themselves: not only have each of my picks produced returns, but my predictions of individual player’s performances and roles, the game within the game, if you will, have all come true. With each passing week, however, and with each cash grab from MJC, my confidence shrinks. It keeps me ...
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11.13.09The Marble Ryan Lock of the WeekNormally I begin each week with a brief review of the previous pick and a discussion of my success over recent weeks, but this time I think I'll just get right to the point. When you're on a roll like I am, the last thing you want to do is go around boasting about every detail and blow your karma. This is particularly true this week, with a slate of games that lacks a real screaming lock. Usually in a situation like this, I'd take a crack at the week's biggest game, but Colts-Pats on Sunday night is as unbettable as ...
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11.06.09The Marble Ryan Lock of the WeekWell, I never thought my own legacy could be so closely tied to that of Brett Favre, but last Sunday, we both made tremendous strides forward with the Vikings win against the Packers. Favre once again proved that there’s no one better when it comes to looking out for #1. Or should I say #4? On a national broadcast, Favre returned to his old city to prove to everyone what a tremendous mistake it was for the Packers brass to take such a cavalier approach with their QB situation and kick the future HOFer to the curb. He did just ...
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10.30.09The Michael J. Cox Lock of the WeekUnfortunately, this is going to be an abbreviated write-up due to some factors outside of my control, like the fact that I'm writing this from a client's conference room in between meetings. After several weeks of bad picks and a massive loss of confidence, Marble has predictably chosen to point you toward the biggest stay away game of the week. Emotions in Green Bay will be running high. Both teams have a lot to prove, especially their QBs. Would any of you really be shocked or surprised at any result here? I sure wouldn't, and that means one thing: keep ...
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10.30.09The Marble Ryan Lock of the WeekMired in a rough stretch at the MRLOTW, my wallet is getting noticeably lighter while my conscience grows depressingly heavy. After all, for a while there I was doing so well that some of you might have actually started to follow my advice, which means my recent string of bad choices carries consequences well beyond the measly $20 I owe Cox for each L. What's worse, I can feel my confidence shriveling like a tulip in October, to the point where, as I glance over this week's lines, I simply can't get it up to make a decision. In Wall ...
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10.23.09The Michael J. Cox Lock of the WeekFYI readers, I stopped reading Marble's write-up as soon as he mentioned the "Lock Rules" so I have no idea what his pick is, but rest assured that I'm happy to take the other side of whatever pathetic reach of a bet he's making this week. Let's be very clear. There are no "rules." I will take whatever bet Marble makes because I think he possesses a poor aptitude for NFL wagering. He could bet against Jim Zorn for the next 10 weeks and double up on losses for all I care. It won't do him any good. His job is to ...
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10.23.09The Marble Ryan Lock of the WeekAfter mixed results for the Marble Lock again last week, I’m nearing my wit’s end. I just want to say that I hate the Eagles with everything I have. They’re probably my most despised entity in all of sport, and I don’t think I’m going out on a limb in saying a lot of people feel that way. So you people have to understand how frustrating it is to lose a bet on a game in which I picked them to win in blow out fashion. Any joy that would have been brought to me by watching their pathetic display ...
