Rex Grossman Is Our Quarterback

Lions-Browns. Yeah, so that happened.

Week 11 brought us a fantasy orgy in the most unlikely of forms: a game between the Lions, who are so lukewarm on rookie QB Matt Stafford that they won’t even fix his jersey when it gets caught beneath his shoulder pads, and the Browns, who as recently as Monday night looked like one of the worst offensive NFL teams in memory. The game, which ended with a final score of 38-37 Lions, yielded the weekend’s two highest-scoring fantasy QBs, Brady Quinn and the aforementioned Stafford. Wait, what?

At the ridiculously overpriced watering hole where the RexQB staff watches the Sunday games, a giant mass of people were so intrigued by the shootout that they gathered around the TV showing the game and started ripping shots like it was Mardi Gras. What is it about a tight game between two terrible teams that’s so compelling? The same thing happened two years ago with the late-season Ravens-Dolphins game that produced Miami’s only win of the season. The game was so interesting that even Cousin Bowser, the most casual of football fans in our league, couldn’t keep from watching it.

Really, Lions-Browns was an argument for an NFL subdivision that forms yearly after Week 10. From that point on, the league’s worst teams will only square off against each other, hopefully leading to more games like Lions-Browns and fewer games like Browns-Ravens. What will happen to the teams not in the subdivision who had late-season games scheduled against these crappy teams? Well, I’m not sure exactly, but up until this sentence, this idea seemed like a pretty good one.

If you’re looking for this season’s DeAngelo Williams, he hath arrived.

I’ll say it: Ricky Williams is going to win a lot of people their leagues this year. Here are Williams’ stats since Ronnie Brown was injured:

Week 10: 20 carries, 102 yards, 0 TD
Week 11: 22 carries, 119 yards, 3 TD (+ 1 receiving TD)

And for his next act, Williams takes on the Bills, who’ve been handing out fantasy points to opposing RBs as soon as they step off the team plane. Ricky might not match DeAngelo’s 2008-2009 effort point for point, but he’s going to be a difference-maker.

Knowshon Moreno: Fumblin’ bumblin’ stumblin’.

I’ll reserve further boasting about accurately predicting the demise of the Broncos — a prediction made when the Broncos were 5-0 and had just beaten the Patriots — but when it comes to Moreno, I have to say “I told you so.” Now, it’s not like any one was confusing Moreno for Adrian Peterson, but this fumbling thing is serious enough that Josh McDaniels has to be losing some confidence in his first-round pick. It cost Moreno (and his fantasy owners) a TD yesterday, and as far as actual football goes it definitely sapped any momentum that the Broncos had at the time. They ended up losing 32-3.Of course, what’s painful about this is that Moreno is one of my own players.

A call for research

It seems like we’ve been seeing an awful lot of fumbles this year. Is this true? And why is it happening? Are defensive players just so well coached on ball-stripping technique now that they’re causing more fumbles? Do offensive players just now have poorer fundamentals, sort of like how American-born NBA players (Young Money excluded) have forgotten how to make mid-range jumpers? Am I totally imagining this? Mr. T, what say you?

Some thoughts on the music used during NFL telecasts

At the aforementioned NYC watering hole yesterday, the RexQB staff tossed around a few theories about the music chosen to play NFL telecasts in/out of commercials. Who chooses it? How? Do the producers use the music to target certain demographics? Does a network like ESPN only choose music from Disney-affiliated labels to avoid rights issues? At one point, I even think I suggested that the producers probably hold focus groups to gather user opinions.

Well, during the fourth quarter of last night’s Bears-Eagles game, the telecast went to commercial to “Low” by early-nineties alt-rockers Cracker. Cracker! Could you imagine the focus group that led to this decision? This was undoubtedly the work of a nostalgic 38-year-old producer who listens to Candlebox and Soul Asylum as he drives to work. Shows how much I know.

Break up the Chiefs!

Don’t look now, but the Chiefs have gone 3-2 in their last 5 games. Jamaal Charles seems to make a play every week, Matt Cassel could end the season as a starter in even 1-QB fantasy leagues, and even former p-squad guy Lance Long is kind of intriguing in a Wes Welker sort of way. But most impressive of all, the Chiefs resurrected the career of Chris Chambers, who again achieved fantasy relevance with 4 catches for 119 yards. Take that, Cox and Marble.

WR Corna’

• DeSean Jackson has successfully challenged all of my prejudices against skinny WRs.
• Miles Austin sucks. I knew it from the moment he tried to dunk the ball over the goal post a few weeks ago and came up short. Watching him do a finger-roll instead was embarrassing.
• Sidney Rice does not suck. Sidney Rice is awesome.
• Hines Ward is on pace for over 1250 receiving yards and 8 TDs this season. Guy’s end-of-career numbers could be interesting. And the thing is, going into next year’s draft, we’ll hear the same whispers about how he’s another year older and likely to slow down. He’s not going to slow down. Hines Ward will be good for the rest of our natural lives. Draft him.
• He’s not a WR, but I have to say: Jay Cutler’s body language makes Eli Manning look like Brett effing Favre.
• Remember the Randy Ratio? I miss Mike Tice sometimes.
• T.O., I don’t even know what to say. (NB: Here was ESPN’s player update for T.O. going into Week 11: “Owens finally showed some “fire” on the sidelines in Week 10, and when that happens, history has shown it isn’t too long after that T.O. “turns it off” for the season. Be forewarned.”)