Look, you may think you know how to run a fantasy football team, but chances are you probably don’t. You’re the guy who reads all the publications before the draft, soaks himself in dozens of websites, and still finds a way to miss the playoffs every year. I laugh at you clowns diving into depth charts written by some joker who lives with his Grandma. I once drafted in a car on I-95 while eating two Big Macs — blind, with no printed rankings. Sure, I’ve lost two girlfriends over my intense desire to dominate the world of fantasy sports, but obviously such trivial relations weren’t meant to be.
So as you prepare for your fantasy draft, be aware of the following things. And above all else, remember the Golden Rule: the man with the gold…rules.
1) Be prepared
Don’t take your rankings from too many sources. Keep it simple. But remember, it’s your pick not Matthew Berry’s. You have to live with it. Figure out who you want to target, circle them, and then go get em. And always have three guys in mind when it’s close to your pick. No one wants to wait for you.
2) Stay risk averse early
Don’t be an idiot and draft a guy with tremendous upside potential that isn’t slated to go in the first two rounds. Your first two picks are the core of your franchise. You need to be safe with your picks and get risky later. Otherwise it’s like riding the town bicycle without your helmet. Better to be safe than sorry.
3) The bench is key
If you draft Brady, Manning, or Brees, don’t worry about drafting a backup QB early. If your starter gets hurt, you’re probably screwed anyways. Draft bench guys that you can trade later. What’s going to be more valuable if your starting WR goes down? A break-out RB or a TE that’s 8th in the league in catches?
4) Never assume trades are available
If you don’t have a worthwhile starting QB, don’t draft another position assuming you’ll be able to trade. It might take you four weeks to make the deal. The season is too short to make assumptions. If you’re good enough, you’ll be able to grab someone in the next round that could possibly be traded.
5) Don’t draft a kicker until the last round
You’ve heard it before and you’ll hear it again. The difference between waiver wire guys and the first few kickers off the board is usually no more than a couple points per week. And there’s always a stud who goes undrafted. Actually, if you’re in a league with me, draft a kicker before the last round. I’ll buy you a beer with my winnings.
Doesn’t #4 conflict with #3?
#3 involves building a strong bench around possible trade candidates in the future. #4 is telling you not to do that until after your starting lineup comes together. Maybe you can reverse the order of numbering, but the premise is the same.